I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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