so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
