That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
