worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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