Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
