chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
