see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
