Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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