she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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