I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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