Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
