Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The best revenge is premature balding
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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