I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
