hotel room ftw
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
