My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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