Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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