I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
