True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
