he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have demons in me.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
please come you make the beer taste better
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
