bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
