The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think i have herpe
just one?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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