no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
