He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
