I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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