I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How naked do you want me to be?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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