I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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