I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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