we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
