She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
