I just saw a hot homeless man
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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