ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
