I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
