I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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