I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
