Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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