Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
