I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
