i just google imaged poop.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
