Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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