Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
