so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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