I'm really into asian looking animals
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
