dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
