just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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