i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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