you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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