Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize