Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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