She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
