if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
