I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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