with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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