i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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