I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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