Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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