my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
