Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
