Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
