Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
