This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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