how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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