we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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