His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
